A lot has changed, and in a way – not much has…
This week sums up to this:
1) I cut my hair
2) A guy hit on me (gave him a way to contact me, though I don’t want him)
3) My officer is flirting with me
4) I almost got it on with a soldier
5) I have a new friend
6) My ex is driving me crazy
The most interesting two are numbers 4 and 6.
About number 4:
A soldier, kind of reminds me of the “new guy” (aka – the no commitments guy), talented, definitely not shy, flirty but goes for what he wants, and all in all I know him for about………3 hours.
He plays the guitar so beautifully… and I can’t help it, guys with guitars (or any other instrument, except for maybe…a tuba) really do it for me…plus – he’s cute :P
You could say we ‘noticed’ each other…and we each started throwing signs and hints like madmen. That was the first day.
The second day we already started going somewhere with the whole thing…and eventually we ended up together, alone, curled against the cold (and for other reasons…)
But when he wanted to kiss me I didn’t let him. So in the end nothing (physically) happened between us. We just talked all night…it was nice…good…but I’ll be with him it’s going to be hard…we live so far away from each other…
About number 6:
My ex is…going crazy…and in the process he’s dragging me with him.
It has come to the point where I don’t know if I love him anymore. I will always love him in a way…but you know what kind of love that is…full of memories…an old love…
He said he thinks we should really break it up – stop talking and really disconnect from one another.
That got me thinking...and I don’t know if I love him anymore…
I changed (and still am) and I’m drifting away from him…
He knows that and he’s aching…
(One of the reasons I didn’t let the soldier kiss me…my ex gets me so fucking confused!!...:( )
I’m living my life, this is the time…this is probably the only time…
After…it gets harder and harder…you work…you’re tired…you have so many things on your mind….you barley have time for relationships between studying, working etc.
(Might have exaggerated a bit but you get my point).
Possible conclusions:
- I need to stop letting things stop me when they’re not really stopping me (like my ex or the ‘no commitments’ guy. One is in the past and the other is…’free’, I guess, would be the word to use here).
- I should meet my ex and see once and for all if I still love him or not (a tricky one but I really need to find out)
- I should limit myself to guys I like and not waste time, energy or anything else on gut I know I don’t want.
That’s about it I think…
This week has been a busy one.
Night…J
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